Accountability and Responsibility

MILWAUKEE, WI

By A.B. Dada
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One of our closests friends Rebecca Georgakis passed away this morning peacefully after a 4 year battle with brain cancer. She was in her early 20s, and married to one of my closest friends and oldest business partner, Christos. They have been married just short of one year.

This is one of those situations that brings tears to my eyes for two reasons: out of love for the family, and out of selfishness in my own life. I can not imagine losing my closest friends and loved ones so early in their lives. My significant other and I argue just like anyone — but not over money or over time or over infidelity or any of the usual suspects. We usually disagree over economics and politics (ha!). Today’s a great day to put that to bed.

Rebecca was a great woman who fulfilled her husband and her home perfectly. Christos told me that he was prepared for this happening, considering that Rebecca lived 3 years longer than any doctor had expected her to. Their short relationship together was an example I wish I had lived myself in my 20s, when work and fun and profit were my only goal.

I pray that Rebecca rests in peace, but as I said before the loss of a loved one can bring incredibly selfish feelings for me, too. In the past 6 months my outlook on life has changed completely: rather than focus on profits and growth and gains, I’ve focused on finding ways to cut back on what I want, which helps me cut back on what I need, so that I can focus on what others want and need. The best way to love someone is in a peaceful way — but I haven’t been able to fully grasp that ideal.

I’m not a parent, but how does a parent truly love in peace without being forceful towards their children? Is the use of force by a parent (punishment, judgement, discipline) appropriate in terms of the child’s future welfare? My parents never punished me, they never judged me and they never disciplined me. I had a rocky late teen/early 20s, but I ended up very self-reliable and encouraged by my personal goals. What do you parents do to balance the love versus the desire to control (for their welfare)?

Is there any love in your life today that you’re frustrated with, that you’ve burned bridges with, or that you’ve cut off communications with? Why? Is it because they won’t live the way you want them to live? Is it because they’ve hurt you in some way?

In the past 6 months I’ve been reading a lot of religious books (not just the New Testament of the Bible) and I’m repeatedly shocked by the example of love throughout all the books. I’m disgusted by the Christian community and church because of their lack of motivation to love others rather than judge and control them. I’m seeing families fall apart over false doctrines and creeds (and cults). I don’t think the way church is run today is how the Bible intended it to, but I also am having problems finding even one soul out there who agrees with me, so Occam’s Razor probably means I’m wrong. My heart and mind and soul won’t give up my new way of thinking, though.

Lately I have been focused on running VIPMinistry.com — a full-service print and media services company for houses of worship. We’re a not-for-income company, meaning we don’t charge for our labor, we don’t offer any profit, and we don’t even bill our “clients” for what they use and want. The most humbling experience in life is to be able to try to meet the needs of others no matter what they ask for. I believe it is a relief to the soul to love others in peace, even if we disagree with them. The fact that I am happier lately than I’ve ever been in my life is a testament to the fact that serving others CAN be a positive, even if it doesn’t satisfy our desires for things or savings or free time.

How do you love in peace? Discuss at the accountability and responsibility forum.