Accountability and Responsibility

It is very easy to become frustrated with the actions of others, especially those you are close to. People are odd beasts, doing seemingly random actions that might seem counterproductive to the relationship you have with them. It is very hard to build up admiration towards another only to have it shut down with an action that disturbs you or makes you mad.

I believe that admiration for another is something that can be kept solid even in the face of the unexpected actions of others. When you acknowledge that every person generally puts themselves first (even if they are saying the opposite), you can understand a person’s actions better when you realize that your life is just as chaotic to them as theirs is to yours. I’ve built up an understanding that the best expectation you can have of another person is that they will remain honorable. To admire a person and have expectations that they will always makes decisions positive in your life is an avenue for frustration and possibly irrepairable conflict. Yet to view a person solely based on their ability to honor a promise can give you new insight into the actions of others.

Human action is perplexing because we don’t know all the facts and trials in a person’s life. The moment you judge the actions of another person, you’re putting yourself in a bad emotional position as you can never know all the facts about a person’s life. What may seem like someone else’s focusing on what is best for you is probably only random chance rather than a true focus. Even when we want to focus on someone else we still get distracted by our own lives — on what is important now.

Finding honor in a person is difficult, but it starts with acting honorably yourself. If you tend to break promises, write them down after you’ve made them. If you’re bad with deadlines, set those goals on paper and follow through with them. If you tend to get overburdened with too many activities, don’t be afraid to tell people that you’re just too busy, but you’d rather let them know that rather than break their trust. If you are known to walk away from responsibilities, ask people for their help in holding you accountable. Don’t force people to do these tasks, those who do them and excel at being honorable tend to be respected and admired because of their attention to what needs tending, rather than the actual outcome of their actions. When someone knows you will try your hardest, you gain honor just for the attempt. When someone doesn’t see your honorable attempts but instead only sees you succeeding and failing, the ruptures that can break up relationships can come very quickly.

In the end, an honorable person will reap more admiration than someone who is loved because of their promises and actions. They will work hard at keeping themselves open to accountability, and they will work at following through with their responsibilities. When you do both of these things, you will still be honorable even in failure.

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